Sunday 23 October 2011

Five Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Gaddafi

Bulletproof Tents, Bunga Bunga & Love Letters to Condy: Five Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Gaddafi
“See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.”
African leaders have never been short of quirks, whether proclaiming themselves the Emperor of Africa from a bespoke golden throne (Mobutu SeSe Seko) or considering a hot shower an adequate post-exposure prophylactic against HIV (our own dear President, of course), there’s more than enough weird to go around (not to mention maniacal tyranny). So, as the world not so fondly lays Col. Gaddafi to rest, let’s take a look back at Brother Leader’s top five weirdest kinks:

1. Crushing on Condy
Back in 2007, Brother Leader met the then US Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, whom he described as a “darling black, African woman.” During life, he showered her with gifts during state visits, and when rebel forces stormed his Tripoli compound earlier this year, they discovered a lovingly made scrapbook featuring pictures of one woman, and only one woman. Aw, bless!

2. Hello, Nurse!
As robust as he was in youth, old age took its toll on Brother Leader. In order to stem the tide of his gathering health woes, he hired a series of Ukrainian nurses, all of whom were required to see to his every need and call him “Papa” or “Daddy”. The most well-known of these was Galyna Kolotnytska, who was rarely seen away from Papa’s side (except in the picture above, having fled Libya when the bullets started flying) and could only be described by the media as “voluptuous”. Notably, she was among the first to bugger off when the rebels came a-knocking.

3. The Mighty Amazons
Not satisfied with his health being protected by busty Ukrainian nurses, the Colonel also allegedly maintained an all female retinue of bodyguards he called his “Amazons”. These were female soldiers hand-picked (I’ll bet…) by Gaddafi himself from a special training camp just outside Tripoli, kitted out in colourful camo gear and high heel combat boots, and ordered to take a vow of chastity lest their inevitable lust for Brother Leader distract from their duty to keep the old perve alive.

4. Bunga Bunga
Last year, when Italian investigators were trying to bring down silver-haired sex-addict, Silvio Berlusconi (AKA The Prime Minister of Italy, above left), their investigations into his alleged sex-capades came across a 17-year old Moroccan prostitute called “Ruby Heartstealer” (above right) who was happy to enlighten them as to Prime Minister Pervy’s favourite sex act (see title), and also the name of the aging African despot he learned all about it from. Say no more, say… no… more. No really, I can’t.

5. The Bulletproof Tent
Despite a fear of flying, and of heights, the Colonel still liked to get out and about. On his frequent overseas trips, he would routinely bring the world’s capitals to a stand still with his diplomatic histrionics. For instance, on several occasions, the French government was required to clear the Louvre (the world’s most popular museum of art) so Gaddafi could take a stroll through the galleries and not be bothered by the pesky proles who flock to see the gallery in their thousands. He was also a fan of bringing a bit of his Libyan compound everywhere he went, and by “bit”, I mean a retinue in the hundreds, a bulletproof Bedouin tent that he would set up outside the hotels he stayed at overseas (that also required separate transport in its own plane due to its sheer weight), as well as a couple of camels and palm trees to park outside the tent, so he could feel right at home.
Never a dull moment in the Gaddafi compound, was there.
[Source: Yahoo]

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