Nedbank – ‘Make Nothing Happen’

A strange number has appeared on the screen of my phone, twice a day, every day this week. I left it – as I do most phone calls – because I was/am usually doing something at the time. And even if I’m doing nothing, that does qualify as doing something these days. My voicemail message notifies the caller that they must not leave a message, but should rather SMS me or email me.
The eighth call from the same number this week, came through just a few minutes ago (I’m currently high on adrenalin) and I answered it, perplexed as to why the caller was unable to follow through with basic instructions.
Turns out it was Nedbank.
Turns out Sipho, who handles FOREIGN EXCHANGE at Nedbank in Sea Point, is not allowed to have a bank email address.

HE HANDLES INTERNATIONAL FOREIGN EXCHANGE AND DEALS WITH CLIENTS IN THE BANK AND DOES NOT HAVE AN EMAIL ADDRESS.

I find that phenomenal.

A recent photograph taken at Nedbank in Sea Point

Sipho needed a document from me, so I gave him a website address, which details my physical address, as well as a handly map and parking instructions.
Guess what, THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO GO ON THE INTERNET.
AT ALL.
He informed me that they had an inTRAnet.
Wonderful.
That’s like saying you don’t play golf BUT you have thrashed Tiger Woods on the Nintendo Wii.
Someone in the bank handling foreign exchange and dealing with clients in the year 2011 – with no email address? It’s actually so embarrassing it’s verging on hilarity.
Please, Nedbank – get a grip…